Update

I'm sorry it has been three months since I have updated the blog. I have been busy writing for other sites and doing my Feminists for Life duties. Here are a few of the things I've written while I was gone:

Ignitum Today:

Currently the site is down. I will get those articles once the site is back up.

YOUCATholic.com:

Social Justice Catholic vs. Pro-life Catholic: A False Dichotomy (In part a republishing of a blog from here)

A Meditation on a Baby's Kiss

St. Maria Goretti Revisited

The True Dignity of Women:

Birth Control in the Doctor's Office

Believe Reflections: What is Love?

Reclaiming Halloween

Thursday was my favorite holiday. I love setting out spooky decorations. I love gorging myself on candy. I like watching spooky movies and television shows and telling ghost stories. I think one of my favorite parts of the season, however, is dressing up.

And my son goes, "yeah, candy!"

As I get older, however, dressing up is getting more and more difficult. This year, I had to go as a male lion. My son was a lion and I wanted to follow the theme, but the only female cats out there were the "sexy cats." It's very degrading for a woman to have to choose between being "sexy" or being nothing at all. What does that say to women who don't fit into our society's unrealistic idea of beauty? What does that say to women who do not want to be objectified on Halloween? What about the women who just want to go out and have fun?

And don't get me started on the girl costumes. I don't consider myself a prude but I was shocked by how "sexy" some of the costumes designed for children were.

That is where Take Back Halloween comes in. I wish that I had found this site before Halloween. I know where I'm going next year for costume ideas.

Some of my more religiously conservative readers may take offense at the goddess costumes or some of the choices of heroines, but I think we can all agree that the idea of the site is awesome. The site features instructions on how to buy already made things to put together some awesome costumes for women. You don't have to be crafty to have a cool costume although some of their suggestions are not cheap.

It's kind of like this project. A photographer did not want her daughter to buy into the Disney princess mythology. She did a series of pictures dressing and posing her daughter as famous women.

My favorite of the series.

She wants her daughter to look up to real women who did great things, not imaginary girls who wait for their prince charming.

This one is also awfully cute and much cooler than a Disney princess.

Not that there is anything wrong with marriage, but the whole princess thing is really unrealistic and demeaning to the female genius. All of those "sexy" costumes are insulting. We are more than our bodies. We are more than our sexuality. We are strong. We are smart. We are passionate. We respect ourselves and we want the men in our lives to respect us too.  

I'm planning on using Take Back Halloween next year. Maybe James and I can find a cool man and woman pair to dress as. 

Maybe Take Back Halloween should branch out to girl costumes. Or somebody else should start one directed at girls. I certainly can't find one. Do you know of any sites like Take Back for girl costumes?

India's "Abused Goddesses" Campaign Opens Eyes

Buzzfeed had a post not too long ago about a deeply moving and fascinating PSA campaign about domestic violence in India. The organization "Save our Sisters" is working to bring awareness to domestic violence and help the victims. More than 68% of women in India are victims of domestic violence. To put that in perspective, in the United States, the rate is 25%.

The ads say, 

“Pray that we never see this day. Today, more than 68% of women in India are victims of domestic violence. Tomorrow, it seems like no woman shall be spared. Not even the ones we pray to.”

The advertisements themselves are incredibly striking and beautiful in a painful and sad way. The advertising company took traditional images of the goddesses and made a real-life recreation. They cover the goddess in bruises and cuts. The props in the pictures are either real or painted on.

The posters feature a phone number to report abuse.

As the Buzzfeed writer points out, this advertisement campaign directly addresses a contradiction in Indian society. They revere many goddesses, but the country remains unsafe for mortal women.

This contradiction can be found in other religious traditions as well. Speaking as a Catholic, I can point out the Catholic devotion to Mary and the Church's long history of social justice. Yet, domestic violence still occurs in some Catholic households.

Here are some of the ads:

Saraswati is the goddess of knowledge, music, the arts, and science. 

Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth.

Knowing the subject of this ad, this is perhaps the most striking of all. Durga is a warrior goddess. She is representative of the victory of good over evil. I have a statue of her in my room (because I like to keep pieces of every part of my religious history). May she give the people of India strength to defeat the evils of domestic violence. 

For a better view of these ads, including close-ups of some of the details, visit the original Buzzfeed article.

Been Busy

Sorry you haven't heard from me in a while. I've been busy on some of my other websites. Here are some of the things I've been writing:

Mary Speaks to All of Us

What I Learned About Marriage From Two Nursing Home Residents

I re-posted my last reflection on Lumen Fidei.

Saint of the Day: Saints Fausta and Evilasius

Some memes I've made:

Confirmation Classes are starting again. Technically, I'm going to be teaching two classes at once which is unheard of in my parish. One of my classes will be ending in November, so it shouldn't be too bad. 

There have been a number of things in the news lately about pro-life and women's issues that I would like to comment on and I'll get to work on that. I just wanted to let you know I haven't disappeared. 

I gotta use this cartoon every excuse I get. Although I'm done with the shameless plugging.

Three Lessons From A Conversation With A Pro-Choice Feminist

Brought on by my latest post on Ignitum Today, I've been engaging in an enlightening discussion with a pro-choice feminist. I want to share with you some of my observations:

1) Pro-lifers need to do a better job at showing that we are for all life, not just the unborn.

One of the first things that the pro-choice feminist threw at me was the stereotype that "Pro-lifers only care about the unborn." We know that your average pro-life activist working at the grassroots level cares about all children. They donate to or volunteer for crisis pregnancy centers to assist women and children with their practical everyday needs. They start homes for pregnant women, like Joseph's House that is being started soon in my town. 

Yes, for those of us who are religious, our right hand is not supposed to know what our left is doing (Matthew 6:3), but we're only giving fodder to pro-choice attacks. We need to do a better job at showing that we are for all life. We need to put our money where our mouth is.

Source, This site has other cool pics.

Our so-called "pro-life" politicians need to show that they understand that women and children need support (in whatever way they feel comfortable providing that support). Politicians need to realize that being against abortion is not enough to earn the title of being "pro-life."    

2) Conservatives and liberals need to talk to each other instead of demonizing one another. Eventually, she and I both agreed that pro-life and pro-choice people care about the poor and people who are already born. I tried to explain to her one of the main differences I've observed between conservatives and liberals: That conservatives want the social safety net to be local and charity based, while liberals are more comfortable with more government intervention. No one wants to kick the poor out on the streets and no one wants anyone to go hungry.

Liberals and conservatives both need to be willing to talk constructively about their differences. The polarization in our culture needs to stop. We aren't getting anything done and we will ultimately tear ourselves to shreds. Instead of staying in our little corners, we need to talk to each other. 

When we talk to each other, we can work on the the issues we agree on and we can learn from one another. Refusing to talk to one another is simply a sign of being insecure in our own beliefs. It's a sign of anger and hatred. Be a sign of love today: talk to someone who is across the aisle from you.

3) It all boils down to the existential questions of: When does life begin? What is a human? That's where the real argument is. We can go around in circles all day with protest slogans and signs, but in the end, this is the question that matters. When we are debating abortion, we are debating the meaning of being human.

This is a question that everyone, regardless of your opinion on abortion, needs to ask yourself. And keep asking yourself. It's not a question you can answer and then walk away, you need to analyze your answer. Is this really the right answer? Is this universally true? Human lives are at stake both inside and outside the womb. 

Often our answers to what constitutes life inside the womb as implications for those already born as well. For example, let's say you come to the conclusion that life starts when the brain becomes active, what does that mean for our definition of "brain death"?

Science can be used to come to the answer, but science cannot provide the answer. Religion can be used to come to the answer, but religion cannot provide the answer. I think if we could all put down our rhetoric and bickering, we could get somewhere by limiting ourselves to the question at hand: What is a human? 

Source.

Yelling at each other is getting us no where. We are more mature than that. Let's all act like it. 

Hug a conservative/liberal/whatever-you-disagree-with today 

Wrongful Birth, Wrongful Life, Pre-natal Testing and C-Sections

This story explains a lot.

My current homestate, New York, is one of many states which does not protect medical personnel from wrongful birth or wrongful life lawsuits.

A wrongful birth suit is when a family sues a medical professional because their child was born with some kind of illness or disability that if caught before birth would have resulted in an abortion.

A wrongful life suit is when an individual sues a medical professional because they feel they should never have been born.

Borrowed from one of the most awesome blogs on the net. Who borrowed it from somebody called Saturn Stills at Sciencesource.com.

When I got pregnant with James, I was told about all of the pre-natal testing they could do. I refused to do them because a) we have no family history and b) most importantly, the test results would not changed anything, I would never have an abortion.  When I refused, I had to sign a waiver saying that I had been offered these tests, been informed of the pros and cons, and refused. Since I was in my twenties with no family history, the doctors didn't really attempt to persuade me either way. I wonder what will happen next time around since we aren't planning on trying to get pregnant again until I'm at least 30.

One of the biggest c-section myths out there and the one that hacks me off the most.

I also wonder if this mentality has something to do with the c-section rates. There are a number of factors in making c-section rates as high as they are. I know, however, in the case of myself and many other women who have unwanted c-sections, they are pressured into it by doctors. And one of the reasons for the pressure? The doctors are concerned that in the course of regular labor, something will go wrong. They are afraid something will go wrong and they'll be sued.

I addressed this topic specifically with my doctor since I knew it was an issue. I told her that I wouldn't sue her for something that is out of her control. Life and death are a mystery. Childbirth is more of an art than a science. Some things just cannot be predicted and controlled.

I can understanding suing someone when there has been gross negligence, but this "sue-happy" culture makes no sense. Someone doesn't have to pay every time something goes wrong. Pardon my language, but shit happens.

And suing the doctor involved in the birth of your child because the child has a disability is sending one message out loud and clear, "This child should not be alive. A handicapped life is not worth living. A disabled life is less valuable than the life of a 'healthy' person."

I can understand that those with special needs children need money to pay for their care, but you don't have to get it at the expense of the innocent doctor. There are many government and charitable organizations to reach out to for help. And if that isn't enough, be an activist for more aid.

Source.

People suing the medical personnel is only making things worse for all of us. It is creating the environment in which few people go into the OB profession because the insurance costs are too high. And people in the profession are scared. And women and children are subjected to unnecessary tests and interventions because the professionals are scared.

Not to mention the message this is sending to world about the value of human life.

Lumen Fidei #12: To Touch with our Hearts

Source: http://www.lushquotes.com/

From #31: Saint Augustine, commenting on the account of the woman suffering from haemorrhages who touched Jesus and was cured (cf. Lk 8:45-46), says: "To touch him with our hearts; that is what it means to believe."

The woman with the haemorrhages. She'd been bleeding for years. Scholars say it was likely a gynecological issue which would mean that no man could touch her and be ritually clean. She was so sure that Jesus could heal her that she reached out and touched His robes. All He felt was someone tug on His clothes and some power leave Him. When Jesus questioned the crowd to see who had touched Him, she reluctantly came forward knowing that as a bleeding woman, she had no right to touch a man. But Jesus doesn't rebuke her. He says simply that her faith has healed her and tells her to go in peace.

I am originally from the "show me" state. We all value what our senses tell us as true. Right now, we cannot directly see God. We can see Him in creation. We can feel His love through other people. But we cannot see Him Himself. The closest we can get is to touch Him with our hearts, to believe. As Jesus says to Thomas:

Jesus said to him, “Have you come to believe because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed.” - John 20:29

The Dead Women of Juarez: A Review

I spent my weekend engrossed in this book. The Dead Women of Juarez is a fictional story about a very real ongoing tragedy in Juarez, Mexico.

At least 400 women and girls have been raped, tortured, and murdered in Juarez in the past 20 years. Hundreds more women are still missing and some locals estimate the real number of murders and disappearances to be in the thousands.

I participated in a demonstration about this when I was a freshman in college. I've talked about it a little before. It involved raw meat all over the quad. Aforementioned raw meat was supposed to be clean, white bones to symbolize these women being found in the desert as nothing but bleached bones.

I thought that this was old news, but apparently it is on-going. Efforts and attention are being diverted due to the growth of the drug cartels. But women are still being murdered.

Just a couple weeks ago, 12 people were arrested for their involvement in the murders of 11 young women who they had kidnapped, forced into prostitution and killed after they were "no longer of use." This has been a rare taste of justice as corruption and organized crime have made investigations and convictions nearly impossible.

And, as this article points out, international and political pressure by groups like Amnesty International have actually kind of backfired in this crisis. The police, being under pressure to solve these crimes, don't do a through job to make sure the right person is convicted. So, then we have two victims, the violated woman and the innocent man behind bars.

However, without international attention and political pressure, nothing would be done at all. The cultures of machismo and marianismo devalue the life of women, particularly if that woman works or attends school outside the home. Many of the victims were students and/or factory workers. Without the outside pressure, arguably, no one (but the victims' families) would care at all.

NY Times

Back to the book: It is a page-turner. It's also very thought-provoking and depressing. The conclusion is satisfying, but it will not wipe the crimes from your mind. There are drugs, sex, foul language and violence in the book, but those topics are all covered tastefully. Sam Hawken, the author, wrote this book to bring attention back to this horrendous crisis. It certainly opened my eyes and I hope it will open your eyes too.

Mothers are Dying in Childbirth in the US

While researching for an NPR interview, I found an inspiring project online called The Safe Motherhood Quilt Project. The woman who is in charge of this project is collecting the names and stories of women who died due to complications in childbirth (or late-term abortion) to bring attention to the horrible maternal mortality rate here in the US. The United States spends more on medicine than nearly anyone else, but we have the highest infant and maternal mortality rate in the industrialized world. Where is all of that money going if it's not to save infants and mothers lives?

There are many reasons why this is happening. Here I list only a few:

1) The overuse of c-sections. Even in a scheduled routine c-section, the mother is twice as likely to die than if she had a vaginal birth.

2) Poor health care for poor people. Women living in poverty are far more likely to die from complications in childbirth than rich women.

3) Poorly staffed medical facilities and poor communication among staff. Many times when a woman dies in childbirth it is because the signs that something was wrong were not noticed or not reported until it was too late. I know medical personnel are only human and they take their jobs very seriously, but they need the support and the tools to do their job better.

For more information: Amnesty International Report

Eleven-Year-Old Reopens Abortion Debate in Chile

Right now, a debate rages in Chile.* Abortion is illegal there, but we have learned recently of an 11-year-old girl who is pregnant from years of abuse in the hands of her mother's boyfriend. She wants to keep the child. Pro-choice activists are using her case to fight for abortion rights.

Of course, unless it's in self-defense, I'm not all for killing the "terrorists" either.

So, would the pro-choice people force her to have an abortion? Arguably, she is not old enough to make a choice. She wasn't old enough to have her virginity stolen from her (or to consent). But she has other options. She could give the child up in an open adoption so that she could watch the child grow up without being financially responsible for him or her. It's also possible that a family member could adopt the baby so she could help raise the child without having the main responsibility for him or her. Those are just two of her options.

But the bottom line here is that it's not the child's fault that his or her father committed such a barbarous act. I hope the rapist gets punished to the fullest extent of the law. I hope the girl gets protected from further acts of violence and her mother's stupidity. Her mother is defending the rapist for crying out loud. But the unborn child doesn't deserve the death penalty.

I do not know any of her medical specifics so I know nothing about her physical ability to give birth to the child. I'd have to trust the doctors caring for her. My understanding is that Chile has some of the best maternity care in this hemisphere, unlike the US...

That rant is coming soon.

*For those who want to hear about it from a secular source, here is the CNN article.

Censorship on Facebook

This doesn't get censored by facebook:

 

This does:

 

So apparently according to FB, you can objectify women. But if you celebrate a woman in childbirth, that's porn?

And FB calls this porn:

And I will not post the pictures but a very brief search led me to child pornography on Facebook.

As in what looks like under-aged people engaged in sex acts, not two kids artfully photographed in a tub.

THIS MAKES ME SICK!

(PS: I did report the pictures I found to both FB and the proper authorities. To FB's credit, the page was taken down within 5 minutes of my report.)

7 Quick Takes (#9) Shameless Pulg Edition

--- 1 ---

I've been back home for a week now. Time flies when you're sicker than a dog and still trying to work your butt off.

--- 2 ---

 

I'm always looking for an excuse to use the above cartoon. So, what have I been doing? I volunteered for another website: YOUCATholic.com. I'll be blogging and putting together the unit on ethics. The biggest issue I've had so far is not being able to find a YOUCAT in all of Syracuse NY. You wouldn't think that would be an issue. Syracuse isn't that small of a town, but you'd be wrong.

 



--- 3 ---

Next Sunday will be my 5th article for Ignitum Today. As I am writing this, the site is down, but as soon as it's back up, you need to check it out. Writing for IT has been enormously helpful for me in developing my blogging skills. Although I'm still not a great writer, I'm a lot better than I was when I first started at IT.

--- 4 ---

I'm helping with publicity for a new organization in town called the John Paul II Center For Women. It is something that Syracuse is in desperate need of. They work on promoting Catholic teachings in regards to the dignity of women, specifically NFP and Theology of the Body. I'm running their FB page and I'm working on their blog right now. I hope to get a Twitter account going soon.

--- 5 ---

And last but not least, my Feminists for Life internship. Of course, it got going to a running start while I was in MO visiting family and friends. I was on the computer a lot more than I would have liked to during my visit. I've already been learning a lot, though, and I've met online some like-minded pro-life feminists. Including a dude. Yes, men can be feminists, too.

--- 6 ---

As mentioned above, James and I did bring home a lovely souvenir from MO. We are both full of snot. Our throats hurt. James is clinging to me, because, hey, mom's supposed to take this stuff away right?

--- 7 ---

That pretty much covers everything. I've renewed my efforts at finding work that I can actually get paid to do. I've volunteered again to review a book for Patheos. I promise it will be better than my last one. And James just pulled himself up on dad's footrest! My big boy!

 

 





For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Pope Francis Doesn't Value Women's Issues?

I thought long and hard about whether or not to respond to this article I saw posted online yesterday. It seems to me that the author doesn't know fundamental things about Catholicism. Maybe I'm being unfair in assuming she doesn't want to know. I would like, however, to give her readers the benefit of the doubt. Even if you don't agree with the Church, it's always good to understand people who are not like you. So, let's take this article apart and explain some things.

The Vatican has enjoyed religious authority worldwide, directly controlling more than a million bishops and nuns who are followed by 1.2 billion worshipers: more than any other Christian sect.

First of all, the Church doesn't work that way. Yes, the Pope is in charge, but he rarely exerts direct control over the other bishops. She makes it sound as if he micro-manages. He usually steps in on another bishop's turf only when stuff seriously hits the fan. Pope Francis seems to have  this view of the papacy, as he prefers to be referred to as the Bishop of Rome, not the Pope. Otherwise, the hierarchy is a lot more messy than she indicates. Nuns are not equal to Bishops, but some religious superiors are not answerable to any Bishop other than the Pope. And it just gets more complicated from there.

There is little doubt that the latest sex abuse scandals have played a major role in shrinking the Church's membership and undermining its credibility.

Actually, statistically, no. Although it has undermined our authority in "pelvic issues" among the general public, the sex abuse crisis has had little to do with the numbers of people leaving the Church.

Ending mandatory celibacy would go a long way to deal with much of the hypocrisy witnessed over the years.

Also, no. Think about it: If someone told you that you could never have sex again, would you start messing with kids? Pedophiles come in many different guises, many are "happily" married men and many never took a vow of celibacy. While the cover-up in the Church is deplorable, the rate of abuse in the Church isn't any higher than any other institution. The priesthood doesn't turn people into pedophiles, pedophiles are attracted to the priesthood because they get unfettered access to kids.

It's no coincidence then that American nuns are also leaving the church in record numbers, according to Catholic World News. Their number has  dropped from 180,000 nuns in 1965 to 75,000 in 2002, and to 56,000 today. They are expected to drop to well below 40,000 by 2020.

I'm sure there are nuns leaving the Church, but the bigger issue is that the vowed religious women are dying. Orders are disappearing because of a lack of vocations to replace those elderly nuns, not because they are jumping ship.

It is common sense that women who make up the majority of the Church's worshipers, should have equal influence over a church in crisis and incapable of truly reforming itself.

And now she shows her whole hand. She has absolutely no understanding of the Catholic priesthood or how the Church actually works. Yes, women make up the majority of the worshipers. They also make up the majority of the catechists, the majority of pastoral staff, the majority of parish councils. The Church isn't about one celibate old man pontificating from on high (pun intended). It's a community. It's the body of Christ and we all have our roles. No role is less important than any other. As Paul says:

Now the body is not a single part, but many. If a foot should say, “Because I am not a hand I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. Or if an ear should say, “Because I am not an eye I do not belong to the body,” it does not for this reason belong any less to the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God placed the parts, each one of them, in the body as he intended. If they were all one part, where would the body be? But as it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I do not need you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I do not need you.” Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this. But God has so constructed the body as to give greater honor to a part that is without it, so that there may be no division in the body, but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. If [one] part suffers, all the parts suffer with it; if one part is honored, all the parts share its joy.

- 1 Corinthians 12:14-26 

In every parish I've ever belonged to, the true power behind the throne has been a woman. The priest was there to administer the Sacraments which are necessary for salvation, but the woman was largely in charge of day-to-day finances and staffing. She helped make sure the priest made it to his appointments and had everything he needed to do his job. Women educate the young, including those who will one day become priests, and pass the faith down to future generations.

The way I see it: I can no more become a priest than a man can give birth to a child. It isn't a glass ceiling to break through as if the Church was some kind of corporation. That's just not how the Church works. I'm not being held down in some subservient role because I'm a woman.

I can still speak up and I can still be heard. Some of the best priests I've ever met held their female staff in high esteem and often rubber stamped whatever the staff wanted to do. Not to say that the priests were doormats, but they listened and they saw running a parish as a truly collaborative job.

 Source

Women have come a long way in recent years in the Church. We still need more women theologians. Women as well as men need to learn more about their faith in order to accurately and effectively pass it on. But women don't need the priesthood.    

  

Mothers At Work: An Untapped Resource

Japan is beginning to tap the power of the mom. After centuries of discrimination, companies are discovering that working mothers are not a drag on the economy or productivity after all. Given a mother-friendly workplace, these women are fruitful and happy.

What about here in the United States? Well, a woman's income shrinks 5% with every child she has. Discrimination against pregnant women and single moms runs rampant. Are there any employers in the US who get it? Does anyone realize as some Japanese employers do that moms can be a benefit in the workforce?

 

Believe it or not, some do. Some companies allow babies in the workplace. Others have extended maternity (and paternity!) leave. Here is a list of the 100 best companies for working moms.

What can we do to promote this? How can we help more companies to realize that mothers make good workers? I think the number one thing to do is to educate. We need to inform companies about the value of working moms. Mothers who are in the workforce need to ask for the things they need and speak up for their seeking, unemployed sisters.

For more info:

5 Non-Negotiable Benefits for New Moms

The Financial Benefits of Having Babies in the Workplace

Practical Advice About How to Implement a Babies at Work Policy

In the Words of a Mom

An Organization that Advocates for Babies at Work

7 Quick Takes (#8) Cool News Edition

--- 1 ---

This is a couple days late because I was traveling this weekend. I've left MO where I've been for the past month visiting friends and family to go back to NY. I'm homesick already. Anything to cheer me up. :(

--- 2 ---

 

This momma braved the tornado that hit Moore, OK while in the hospital, in full-blown labor. 

--- 3 ---

 

This baby was saved by a 3-D printer. Ain't modern medicine cool?

--- 4 ---

 

Say it with me: Awwwwwwww... This guy made an engagement ring that could light up whenever he was near her. 

--- 5 ---

 

I know it isn't very Christ-like of me, but I can't help feeling good about this. The founder of Girls Gone Wild was convicted for false imprisonment and assault. He is exposed once again as the piece of work that he is. I hope he someday realizes how completely immoral it is to take advantage of drunk women to make a buck. 

--- 6 ---

 

Maybe we can learn a few things from Japan about how to treat mothers in the workforce.

--- 7 ---

 

I think we could all learn a thing or two from this woman. She didn't look in a mirror for a year, including her own wedding day. In our culture which is so obsessed with looking good, I think we could all benefit from covering a few mirrors.

 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!