Update

I'm sorry it has been three months since I have updated the blog. I have been busy writing for other sites and doing my Feminists for Life duties. Here are a few of the things I've written while I was gone:

Ignitum Today:

Currently the site is down. I will get those articles once the site is back up.

YOUCATholic.com:

Social Justice Catholic vs. Pro-life Catholic: A False Dichotomy (In part a republishing of a blog from here)

A Meditation on a Baby's Kiss

St. Maria Goretti Revisited

The True Dignity of Women:

Birth Control in the Doctor's Office

Believe Reflections: What is Love?

Been Busy

Sorry you haven't heard from me in a while. I've been busy on some of my other websites. Here are some of the things I've been writing:

Mary Speaks to All of Us

What I Learned About Marriage From Two Nursing Home Residents

I re-posted my last reflection on Lumen Fidei.

Saint of the Day: Saints Fausta and Evilasius

Some memes I've made:

Confirmation Classes are starting again. Technically, I'm going to be teaching two classes at once which is unheard of in my parish. One of my classes will be ending in November, so it shouldn't be too bad. 

There have been a number of things in the news lately about pro-life and women's issues that I would like to comment on and I'll get to work on that. I just wanted to let you know I haven't disappeared. 

I gotta use this cartoon every excuse I get. Although I'm done with the shameless plugging.

Lumen Fidei #14: We're all Magi

From #35: And image of this seeking can be seen in the Magi, who were led to Bethlehem by the star (cf. Matthew 2:1-12). For them God's light appeared as a journey to be undertaken, a star which led them on a path of discovery. The star is a sign of God's patience with our eyes which need to grow accustomed to his brightness.

Every year at the Christmas party at my Newman Center, everyone got rewards. One year, the organizing committee thought it would be cute to base all of the rewards on the Christmas story. As the token convert (and a non-Christian convert to boot), I received a cute homemade ornament featuring the three magi.

The magi: Traditionally, there have been three although the Bible doesn't give an exact number. They came from the East (like I did) following a star. They looked for the Christ.

Just like the Magi, we may have a very far way to go. In this life, the vast majority of us will never completely make it. But that doesn't mean that we stop searching. The Kingdom of God is the pearl of great price (Matthew 13:45-46), it is the treasure hidden in a field (Matthew 13:44).

Source.

You can find the rest of this series on quotes from Pope Francis' first encyclical here.

Lawn Chair Catechism #8: What Was God Thinking?

This is the 8th part of a discussion occurring right now on Catholicmom.com. We are reading Sherry Weddell's Forming Intentional Disciples. It's a really interesting book and it is never too late to join us.

I skipped last week because my reflection was long and it rambled. I didn't like writing it and I didn't want to force anybody to read it. Hopefully it won't be so bad this time.

Knock on wood

Let's revisit my conversion experience. Here I was: I practicing Wiccan. I had played around with Christian symbols and I'd read some of the Bible simply to prove that the abuse I suffered from my grandfather no longer had any power over my life. I knew all about reincarnation and astrology. I meditated and I practiced yoga. I left offerings to the Goddess a couple times a day.

I walk into a Catholic Church because I had to do a paper on a religion I was unfamiliar with and I had a crush on a Catholic.

And it hits me. I feel at home although I have no idea what is going on. I feel like God/Goddess/Whomever wants me to join this Church. All I had ever heard of about this Church is that it's all about conformity. I've never conformed to anything in my life.

I was angry. I went to the sunken garden. I screamed at God and I cried. I could not understand what was going on or why.

Sunken Garden at Truman State University. Picture not taken by me, I'm not that good.

That night, I went on a walk with one of my friends who was a fallen-away Catholic. He ranted about what the Church teaches and why it's wrong. He told me that the Catholic Church was against both the death penalty and abortion. That made me pause, I had never met anyone who agreed with me on both points. I had always held a consistent life ethic and I thought I was a freak.

I still asked my RCIA teacher when we first met: "Is it okay that I still believe in reincarnation?"

So, openness to Catholicism was a huge problem for me.

Ironically, one of the first retreats I went on had the theme "Surrender." On that retreat, someone told me that I was a model of "surrender" to them. They admired me for leaving behind everything and joining the Catholic Church. This retreat happened only 5 months after my first Mass.

So, how did I do it? I don't know. I just did. People tell me from time to time that I'm a brave person. I really don't see that in myself. I just do what I need to do.

Source

There is no doubt in my mind that God can show Himself to those who do not believe. If He can make me Catholic, He can do anything. I really don't have any advice for people who are struggling to be open. It's still a struggle for me in different areas of my life.

Pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Lumen Fidei #6: "Make Straight in the Wasteland a Highway for Our God!"

John the Baptist

From #13: Believing means entrusting oneself to a merciful love which always accepts and pardons, which sustains and directs our lives, and which shows its power by its ability to make straight the crooked lines of our history.

 I have a pretty colorful history. When I was younger, I hung out with a different crowd. Goths, potheads, you name it! I never participated in any drinking or drugs, but I was close to people who did. We were the outsiders at school. By my senior year, we joked that I was the "mother" of the outsiders. I did have quite the protective, mama-bear attitude going around with my friends.

I would not win any prize for having the most colorful history, though. Many saints have more colorful histories than I: St. Ignatius of Loyola- the ambitious soldier, St. Francis of Assisi- the spoiled pretty boy, St. Augustine of Hippo- wine, women, and song.

God still makes radical changes in everyday lives. I've met one man who was a part of a motorcycle gang with all the worst that that can entail: drugs, crime, and hedonism. He found Jesus after having a stroke and radically changed his life.

God truly makes straight the crooked lines of our history. I remember my first time in Eucharistic Adoration. I had the overwhelming feeling that everything I've ever done, every event in my life was orchestrated to get me to that place in that moment. I felt like I had known all of the people in that chapel forever, even though I had never met them before in my life. As little sense as it has ever made to me, I truly feel I was made to be a Catholic. This is where I belong.

This is part six of a series looking at quotes from Pope Francis' encyclical Lumen Fidei. The others can be found here.

Lumen Fidei #1: The Road to Nowhere

Here is the first installment in a series discussing Pope Francis' first encyclical, Lumen Fidei. Reading through it, there are many quotes that strike me and I want to share them with you all with a little explanation of why I like it.

Source

From #3: "Yet in the absence of light everything becomes confused; it is impossible to tell good from evil, or the road to our destination from other roads which take us in endless circles, going nowhere." 

The analogy I often use about my conversion to the Catholic Church is this:

At first I was angry at God for calling me into this church. What was a free-spirit like me doing in a Catholic Church? But I've come to realize that I'm like the raging waters. I need river banks, otherwise I'll go everywhere, not really getting anywhere.

As the title "Light of Faith" suggests, the light that the Pope is talking about in this passage is faith. Without faith, life becomes confused. Everything becomes relative and individualistic, so there is no right or wrong. And the road to our destination with God becomes lost in all of the other options in this world.

I'm not touching the middle point there about needing faith to know right from wrong. I'm a firm believer that you do not need to be religious to be moral. Morality was never a problem for me. I was pro-life, all life, long before I was a Christian.

However, without faith, I was dabbling in everything. I was changing religious views like I changed my clothes. I didn't really have any direction in life. I had no clue what I wanted to do. I had no community, no place to call home (other than the home with my parents, of course).

Source

As a Catholic, I have a structure and a community that is nearly 2000 years old. I have a wealth of information to read and digest, far more than I'll ever get to read in my lifetime. I can walk into a Catholic Church anywhere on the planet and be able to understand and participate in the Mass. I have a huge and diverse community to be a part of.

Sure, there are things that the Church teaches that I struggle with, just as there are things I completely embrace. Sure, I'm still looking for that close-knit community like I had at the Newman Center that seems to be sorely lacking in the 'real world.' But I view my initiation as a Catholic like a marriage. For better or worse, I'll be a Catholic until the day I die.

In December of 2004 I found the road to my destination. There will always be questions, there will always be doubts, there will be days when I'll almost regret my decision, but I'm always going to stay on my road.

Links to the rest of the series are here.

7 Quick Takes (#9) Shameless Pulg Edition

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I've been back home for a week now. Time flies when you're sicker than a dog and still trying to work your butt off.

--- 2 ---

 

I'm always looking for an excuse to use the above cartoon. So, what have I been doing? I volunteered for another website: YOUCATholic.com. I'll be blogging and putting together the unit on ethics. The biggest issue I've had so far is not being able to find a YOUCAT in all of Syracuse NY. You wouldn't think that would be an issue. Syracuse isn't that small of a town, but you'd be wrong.

 



--- 3 ---

Next Sunday will be my 5th article for Ignitum Today. As I am writing this, the site is down, but as soon as it's back up, you need to check it out. Writing for IT has been enormously helpful for me in developing my blogging skills. Although I'm still not a great writer, I'm a lot better than I was when I first started at IT.

--- 4 ---

I'm helping with publicity for a new organization in town called the John Paul II Center For Women. It is something that Syracuse is in desperate need of. They work on promoting Catholic teachings in regards to the dignity of women, specifically NFP and Theology of the Body. I'm running their FB page and I'm working on their blog right now. I hope to get a Twitter account going soon.

--- 5 ---

And last but not least, my Feminists for Life internship. Of course, it got going to a running start while I was in MO visiting family and friends. I was on the computer a lot more than I would have liked to during my visit. I've already been learning a lot, though, and I've met online some like-minded pro-life feminists. Including a dude. Yes, men can be feminists, too.

--- 6 ---

As mentioned above, James and I did bring home a lovely souvenir from MO. We are both full of snot. Our throats hurt. James is clinging to me, because, hey, mom's supposed to take this stuff away right?

--- 7 ---

That pretty much covers everything. I've renewed my efforts at finding work that I can actually get paid to do. I've volunteered again to review a book for Patheos. I promise it will be better than my last one. And James just pulled himself up on dad's footrest! My big boy!

 

 





For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Lawn Chair Catechism: A Personal Relationship With Jesus

 

Every Wednesday this Summer, Catholics are invited to participate in CatholicMom.com's first Lawn Chair Catechism. We are reading Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry A Weddell.

This is my addition to the discussion of the Introduction of the book.

 "How would you describe your lived relationship with God to this point in your life?"

Why is this question so difficult for me? I'm a convert to Catholicism after years and years of exploring different religions. I've been Catholic for 7 1/2 years. I graduated with my MA in Pastoral Studies last December, but my professional vocation seems to change every other week. Right now, I'm more or less on auto-pilot, just trying to get through the days caring for my son, working for my ministries and writing.

When I talk to God, it's usually in the heat of the moment when I have an immediate need. I understand completely that those in ministry are assumed to have a closer relationship. Ministry is a vocation, a calling, not a job. I'm not suffering from burn-out because there isn't much for me to get burned-out on. I think a good part of it is the fact that I'm living so far from all of my family and friends. I think I'm mostly angry at God because of that.

No discussion of my current relationship would be complete without talking about the Lay Dominicans. As someone who is considering becoming one, I pray Morning and Evening prayers and I try to go to Mass daily. In some ways it has been a lifeline for me. It forces me to keep the lines of communication open between God and I. I don't think I'd have a relationship with God at all right now if it wasn't for the Dominicans.

"What does the word “discipleship” mean to you?  Do you perceive a need in the Church today to help lay Catholics become more fervent followers of Jesus Christ?"

Mainly, "discipleship" means to imitate. Like the old bracelets say, "WWJD?" We're supposed to ask ourselves, "what would Jesus do" and act like Him.

In the Church today, we are plagued with "Christmas and Easter Catholics" and "Cafeteria Catholics" and people who go to church on Sundays simply because "that is what you're supposed to do." I admit, even I sometimes guilt myself into going to church because "I'm supposed to be a role model" and "it'll look bad to potential employers if I skip." There is definitely a need in the Church for people to better understand and appreciate Sundays, much less following Jesus the rest of the week!

"How would you describe your parish’s current efforts at discipleship?  A hotbed of discipleship?  A weekly gathering of spiritual sleep-walkers?  Or perhaps something in between?"

I would say my parish is somewhere in between because it really depends on who you're talking about. Some parishioners are on fire. On the other hand, there are some parishioners that we're lucky to see on Sunday. There are lots and lots of people who we see on Sundays but we never see them anywhere else. People in my parish do make a constant effort to get more people involved, and often it falls on deaf ears. But these people brush themselves off and try again and again. You've got to admire them for it and we are always looking for new ideas. My parish is a very old and small one, but we shouldn't (and we typically don't) use that as an excuse!

Read more reflections at Catholicmom.com

How God Sees Us

My son and I are visiting family right now and this weekend my husband joined us. Off and on all weekend, I'd look over at my husband holding our son and I'd wonder at how absolutely beautiful they are to me.

I wish I knew how to draw. I wish they could both see themselves the way that I do.

And at Mass, it made me think about how God sees us.

Not like this. (Source)

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.-John 3:16

Yeah, I know, it's repeated so much it's cliché. But maybe it's repeated so much because it's true. And maybe it's repeated so much because we need to hear it. And, just maybe, we could stop repeating it if we would all just finally believe it.

God is Love. God loves us more than we could possibly imagine. God created us simply because He loves us. God experienced suffering and death for us. He gave us free-will to love Him back, because it's not really love unless it's given freely.

Can you imagine how beautiful we must be to Him?


Me neither.

 

 

 

The following is a 3 minute video that made the rounds on Facebook a while back. In it, a sketch artist draws women based on how they describe themselves and on how they describe each other. It is discovered that the women described one another much more favorably than they described themselves. So, if we are that attractive to each other when we don't even know each other, how attractive must we be to God?

 

I've Graduated!!!!

In January 2008, I went straight to grad school after graduating college. Due to numerous financial and personal issues, I dropped out, moved back home and worked full-time for two years.

I went back in September 2010. I went to school full-time while working part-time, volunteering for three different organizations, and sorta, kinda "planning" a wedding (my roommate actually did a lot of that job for me).

Got married in July 2011, moved half-way across the country, and had an unexpected baby. Thanks to the patience of the staff at Aquinas Institute and Rev. Terry Culbertson at Upstate University Hospital, I was able to complete the 5 remaining courses to finish my degree.

I technically graduated in December 2012, but I got to walk this past Friday. It is the end of a very long journey. As a woman I met Saturday said, "You really wanted this."

7 Quick Takes Friday (#6)

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Today I'm officially graduating with my Master's in Pastoral Studies! Yay! Now, if I could only find work...

--- 2 ---

Of course, I didn't go into the degree for the dough. I went because first I thought I wanted to be a DRE. Then, I thought I had a calling to be a hospital chaplain. Now, faced with a pile of student loan bills, like many of my fellow grads, I'd just be happy to get a job that is in my field.

Source

--- 3 ---

So, what am I passionate about? While my academic and personal experience backgrounds are primarily in end-of-life issues, I've had a lot of beginning-of-life issues fall on my plate lately. These include but are not limited to: helping women with unplanned or crisis pregnancies, helping women with painful birth experiences, and reclaiming women's bodies from the abortion and birth control industries. A lot of this stems from the birth of my son. He was unplanned and his birth was traumatic. It makes me very, very sympathetic to women who are not as lucky as I was and those with much scarier stories than I do.

--- 4 ---

Now, the funny thing about life issues is that they are all interrelated. When the use of contraceptives goes up, so does the abortion rate (I know the citation there is biased, just bear with me). When we start killing severely handicapped babies to "spare them pain", we are pressuring adults with disabilities to die as well. On the other side of that coin, I find it remarkably inconsistent for those who are "pro-life" to be war-mongers and pro-death penalty as well. For faithful Catholics, election day should be torture, because we cannot with a clear conscience vote either Republican or Democrat. It's as simple as that.

 

--- 5 ---

It's all about the consistent life ethic:

If one contends, as we do, that the right of every fetus to be born should be protected by civil law and supported by civil consensus, then our moral, political and economic responsibilities do not stop at the moment of birth. Those who defend the right to life of the weakest among us must be equally visible in support of the quality of life of the powerless among us: the old and the young, the hungry and the homeless, the undocumented immigrant and the unemployed worker.

Such a quality of life posture translates into specific political and economic positions on tax policy, employment generation, welfare policy, nutrition and feeding programs, and health care.

—Cardinal Joseph Bernardin
in Consistent Ethic of Life (Sheed & Ward) 

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On a lighter note, another video my confirmation kids shared with me:

--- 7 ---

 

So, a chapter of my life is over. I don't have to learn anymore, do I?

 



 

Nope, once a theology student, always a theology student. Especially if said theology student is wanting to become a Lay Dominican.

 



For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Surprising Facts about Breast Feeding in Africa

When I got pregnant with James, my husband asked me if I was going to breast-feed. I didn't know how to answer. All the children in my family were formula-fed. I guess I just kinda assumed I'd formula-feed too. That's when my husband informed me that we were going to breast-feed because that's how a lot of our conversations go. Ask question then give order. If you're reading this: I love ya, babe.

Like the author of this article, I thought that breast-feeding would be a no-brainer in third-world countries. Heck, money is one of the main reasons why I agreed to breast-feed here in the US. So, I was surprised when I read that 1.4 million babies are dying annually because of poor education in regards to breast-feeding.

In some countries, women are waiting for breast-milk to mature before giving it to their babies, denying them the health benefits of the colostrum. In their defense, the colostrum does look nasty and it doesn't look like it would do the baby any good, but it's actually very important for the baby's health. They even said in my breast-feeding class that if your baby gets nothing else, try to make sure your baby gets the colostrum. Some breast-feeding is better than no breast-feeding at all.

One of the things that struck me the most though was the practice of giving the baby a mixture made from water and ink from a Koran verse for protection. Well, my Bible says too, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:4, Deuteronomy 8:3) Apparently, however, the Koran specifically states that you are supposed to breast-feed for the
first two years.

I can understand the importance of tradition. I'm sure some of these women in the third-world would find it odd that I had a priest pour water over my infant's head. I have to applaud UNICEF for aggressively trying to solve this problem. As the article said:

There are babies suffering and dying because they don’t get enough to eat, yet the best nutrition for them is inches away at all times.  

Really sobering when you think about it.

7 Quick Takes Friday (#5)

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This will be a post of images. I'll likely write more on some of these later:

A Praying Mantis praying through Mary

--- 2 ---

Mary holding the baby Jesus. I'll leave you to contemplate this image for a while.

--- 3 ---

Pope Francis, future patron saint of the socially awkward

 

--- 4 ---

My son someday?

--- 5 ---

I don't know if I'll miss these days or not.

 

--- 6 ---

Annunciation by John Collier

--- 7 ---

Yeah, I don't miss that.

 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Telling the Truth About Parenthood

The truth needs to be told. You hear in the media frequently about how much having kids suck. There was a recent article on MSN about "Why kids cost so much?". Less than a month ago, there was an article on the Mail Online in which a woman states that having children was the biggest regret of her life. Now, the Huffington Post publishes an article from a dad who says he doesn't want his twins that are due now in August.

No, having kids isn't a walk in the park. Yes, it does require sacrifice. Yes, it does require change. Some of us do have ambivalent feelings toward parenthood and those people should not be looked down upon because of their feelings. But, the other side needs to be told as well. Instead of gripping about the cost of children and how much of our free-time they take away, we need to also acknowledge that they make us better people. They teach us unconditional love. They give us our most depressing and frustrating moments, but they can give us our happiest moments, too.

Watching the world today, I cannot help but think about how it would be a better place if more of us were parents, if parenthood was exulted instead of shunned.

Yeah, go ahead and laugh. I didn't realize how unkind the world is for parents until I became one. Then you notice how many stores and restaurants do not have changing tables. You realize how utterly impossible it becomes to meet new people because, for instance, the young adult ministry in your diocese has events at bars on weeknights. You rarely see descent TV shows that feature families. They often have single main characters or the plot revolves around a workplace so you don't usually see the families. Most workplaces are not family-friendly. If you put you put your family ahead of your job, you get in trouble. If you have young children (especially if you're single), you don't get hired in the first place.



Source

There are few things in America that are more counter-cultural than having a family (especially a family with more than one kid, yikes!).

But when you're holding that small body in your arms for the first time, you finally know what love is. You get a taste of what God's love is for us. You would do absolutely anything for that tiny human being. You have a vested interest in the future of the planet. This touches on everything from how you vote, whether you recycle, how you volunteer... Your heart breaks even more when you see a terrorist attack or hear about violence on the news, because you cannot help but think, "What if that was my child?"

If we would put our priorities in a different order, having families over having careers, the world would be a better place. We'd take the longer view. We could easier put creating a better world over making a bigger profit. We could give up traveling around the world and instead look at the world through children's eyes.

Again, say it all you want. "I don't need kids to teach me compassion." Again, I didn't think I did either.