Lumen Fidei #16: Share The Light

From #37: Faith is passed on, we might say, by contact, from one person to another, just as one candle is lighted from another.

This is one of the many points in this encyclical in which I'm reminded of this year's Lawn Chair Catechism series at Catholicmom.com. We're reading Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell. While my participation in the series has been shoddy at best, I have been faithfully reading along and I love this book. Just this summer, I've recommended this book on at least three different occasions. That is saying a lot for me. I don't usually volunteer book recommendations.

In the book, the stages of conversion are discussed. Essentially, in order for someone to become a disciple of Jesus, they need to have a personal relationship with His Church. Faith is passed on in personal contact between one person and another. We can't just launch into catechesis; a person needs to trust the Church and have a relationship with the Church before they can learn.

This reading has changed my views on my job teaching Confirmation at my parish. Last year, I concentrated mainly on giving my students accurate information and making that information relevant. This year, I'll likely put more emphasis on prayer and developing a connection with my students.

If you want to read more of my reflections on Pope Francis' first encyclical, visit here.

And when spreading the faith, don't forget new media.

  

Lawn Chair Catechism #9: Life (and Conversion) is Messy

This is my contribution to a conversation happening on Catholicmom.com about Sherry Weddell's book Forming Intentional Disciples. This book has been eye-opening for me. I highly recommend it and it's never too late to join the conversation.

I found it very liberating earlier in the book when Weddell points out that the stages of conversion are not always in order and we are always bouncing around.

I know I've been in the intentional disciple phase before, but I know I'm not now.

I would now put myself back maybe as early as "Trust."

So, it hit home in this chapter in the end when it talks about people in leadership positions who are not yet disciples.

As one of those leaders, I cannot speak to whether or not I can treat others in my shoes graciously. I'm one of the ones who need that patience.

Life is messy. Nothing ever goes in a straight line. Often, we do not get a resolution or closure. We hardly ever get what we think we want. And our relationship with God is much the same way.

When I was looking up images for this, I was struck by this one:

Stolen from a very interesting blog post.

As a graduate theology student, I didn't really care about theory unless it had some application to reality. What good is it to know the complexities of the Trinity if it has nothing to do with people's everyday life? Life needs to feed theology and theology needs to feed life. Otherwise, both are pointless.

And both are messy. We are imperfect people relating to a perfect Creator. We are imperfect people fumbling through a confusing life dealing with other imperfect people.

Like the other relationships in your life, your relationship with God will not be on a straight trajectory. That's just not how humans work. Some days you'll be on a spiritual high, some days you'll be full of doubt, most days you'll be somewhere in-between.

I'm not really stressing about the fact that I'm at the "trust" phase.* I'm still working through it. I'm not sure if I'm pining after a community that doesn't exist and I just need to get over myself. Maybe I need to find my community in the Holy Trinity and the saints. Maybe I just need to grow up and realize that adults don't bond like young adults and kids do.

Source.

The kicker in all of this is I cannot give others what I don't have. At least I'm trying to develop my relationship with God. And, as I said, I've been an intentional disciple before. Does that count for something? I think it does. I think I do have something to share even in this stage.

Leaders who are not yet disciples do need to become disciples, but they don't have to quit in the short-term. Seeing leaders struggle gives hope to us all in our struggles. I've told people before, there are things that the Church teaches that I struggle with. And those who have heard of my struggles are comforted by the fact that someone-who-has-been-studying-religion-since-she-learned-how-to-read still has trouble. As long as those who are struggling don't intentionally mislead the flock, I think there is no reason why those who are struggling cannot stay in power.

What do you think?


*For those of you following at home, the "trust" phase is the first stage of conversion where a bridge is created between the person and the worshiping community. It is characterized as such, "Many don’t trust God or the Church, by they do trust a Christian in their life." (quote from chapter 5 of Forming Intentional Disciples)

Lawn Chair Catechism #8: What Was God Thinking?

This is the 8th part of a discussion occurring right now on Catholicmom.com. We are reading Sherry Weddell's Forming Intentional Disciples. It's a really interesting book and it is never too late to join us.

I skipped last week because my reflection was long and it rambled. I didn't like writing it and I didn't want to force anybody to read it. Hopefully it won't be so bad this time.

Knock on wood

Let's revisit my conversion experience. Here I was: I practicing Wiccan. I had played around with Christian symbols and I'd read some of the Bible simply to prove that the abuse I suffered from my grandfather no longer had any power over my life. I knew all about reincarnation and astrology. I meditated and I practiced yoga. I left offerings to the Goddess a couple times a day.

I walk into a Catholic Church because I had to do a paper on a religion I was unfamiliar with and I had a crush on a Catholic.

And it hits me. I feel at home although I have no idea what is going on. I feel like God/Goddess/Whomever wants me to join this Church. All I had ever heard of about this Church is that it's all about conformity. I've never conformed to anything in my life.

I was angry. I went to the sunken garden. I screamed at God and I cried. I could not understand what was going on or why.

Sunken Garden at Truman State University. Picture not taken by me, I'm not that good.

That night, I went on a walk with one of my friends who was a fallen-away Catholic. He ranted about what the Church teaches and why it's wrong. He told me that the Catholic Church was against both the death penalty and abortion. That made me pause, I had never met anyone who agreed with me on both points. I had always held a consistent life ethic and I thought I was a freak.

I still asked my RCIA teacher when we first met: "Is it okay that I still believe in reincarnation?"

So, openness to Catholicism was a huge problem for me.

Ironically, one of the first retreats I went on had the theme "Surrender." On that retreat, someone told me that I was a model of "surrender" to them. They admired me for leaving behind everything and joining the Catholic Church. This retreat happened only 5 months after my first Mass.

So, how did I do it? I don't know. I just did. People tell me from time to time that I'm a brave person. I really don't see that in myself. I just do what I need to do.

Source

There is no doubt in my mind that God can show Himself to those who do not believe. If He can make me Catholic, He can do anything. I really don't have any advice for people who are struggling to be open. It's still a struggle for me in different areas of my life.

Pray for me and I'll pray for you.

Lawn Chair Catechism #6: Trust

Sorry this is late, my internship with Feminists for Life has been keeping me busy. This is the sixth installment of the Lawn Chair Catechism series. It's hosted by Catholicmom.com and there are a whole bunch of other bloggers participating. We're reading this awesome book called Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell. It's never too late to join us!

So, someone did some research on people who had conversion experiences and found that they went through 5 stages:

1. Initial trust
2. Spiritual Curiosity
3. Spiritual Openness
4. Spiritual Seeking
5. Intentional Discipleship

This chapter has been about that first stage. As a convert, I can kinda relate to this list. My conversion really wasn't this straight forward though. She explains though, that like the cycle of grief, these stages aren't necessarily in order, people don't necessarily go through all of them, and we are all always bouncing around.  

Source

I'd have to say the initial bridge of trust for me with the Catholic Church was at the Catholic Newman Center in college. I saw a community of people who had been Catholic their whole lives, but they were still on fire for their faith. It was a community that I fit into, where everybody knew my name and we were all inseparable.

I think that might be part of my challenge now. Now, I have to be a Catholic without that solid bridge that I had in college. Compared to college, there isn't much of a bridge for me now. I'm used to a community that I was with 24/7 in which faith infused everything we did. Now, I have to be that bridge for others. It is hard to be a bridge for others when you don't really have one yourself. Maybe I am back at that first step in the conversion journey. The researcher says that we all bounce around all of the time.

Can't give others something I don't have myself

All of that said, I don't think trust is an issue at our parish. But this is coming from someone who has been an "insider" since day one because I married the Grand Knight for crying out loud. So, I've been intimately aware of the inner workings of the parish before I even joined, when Matt and I were just dating.

But we do publish our financial reports in the bulletin. Everyone in the offices and our priest have integrity. There isn't a single meeting in the parish that isn't advertised (because, frankly, all committees are always looking for new members).

While trust isn't an issue, maybe the "being a bridge" part is. It is the same handful of people doing almost everything. I have gotten the impression that some groups in the parish are cliquish. This has been a battle in nearly every parish I've ever seen. How can you get a group of closely knit people to open up and let others in? Or do you just create the environment for other groups to form? As it has been noted in this discussion before, bigger parishes could benefit from having smaller groups there-in. While my parish isn't large by any stretch of the imagination, maybe making more groups would be easier than getting the existing groups to open up.

Do you have any thoughts on being more open?

Some people (and this goes for all groups of people, not just churches) never got the memo that we are not in high school anymore.

Lawn Chair Catechism #5: Grace Abounds

This summer, I'm participating in an online book club reading Sherry Weddell's book, Forming Intentional Disciples. It's hosted by Catholicmom.com and it's never too late to join us!

An issue that the youth minister at my parish and I have talked about ad nauseum is teenagers and confirmation. Namely, all of the parents who see confirmation as a rite of passage that the teen has to go through whether they like it or not.

 

This topic also came up in my Bible study one time and it was enlightening. Many of the women in my Bible study were in this camp. They were of the opinion of "We had to do it, so should they." Also, the mentality that Wendell speaks about in the book of "The Sacrament will take care of anything lacking in intention." I had to bite my tongue not to say something I would later regret.

 

As a convert, I do have a very different relationship with the sacraments. I received Baptism, Confirmation, and First Communion all in the same ceremony after 16 months or so of preparation. Before even entering a Catholic Church, I had looked for God for at least a decade of my life. I journaled every day for the month prior to the rites, examining my life up to that point and thinking about what the rites meant to me. My family isn't Catholic, the rites weren't part of my family heritage or hoops to jump through.

 

I wish I had this chapter with me when this conversation at my Bible study occurred. I wonder if this chapter could stand alone for copies to be given to all parents of the teens going into confirmation. (Sherry, I know you read some of these, can we get permission to do that?) To be honest, this idea of the two parts of the Sacraments was not brought up in my theological studies. But, then again, my specialty was Bible not Liturgy, so they might have covered this, but not in any of the classes I took.

 

The standard practice at my parish is that every teen going for confirmation has to have an interview with the youth minister. If in the course of that interview, the teen expresses that they do not want to be confirmed and can give a good reason, the youth minister will call the parents in. The youth minister will then argue on the behalf of the teenager for the teenager's right to say "no."

 

In my classes with the Confirmation students, I share with them my conversion story. I try to make it clear to them that they have to want this. I also tell them it is not a one time deal, they can refuse and come back later. RCIA is always an option. Half of the candidates in the last RCIA class we had were young adults who had refused to get confirmed as teenagers and changed their minds as adults. Similarly, this is not "graduating Catholicism." There will always be new things to learn and new ways to grow in your relationship with Christ.

 

Like Bible Study

 

The women in my Bible study were full of beautiful stories about forcing their teens to be Confirmed and their kids then leave the faith only to they rediscover the faith later on in life. They all linked it back to the day they forced them to get Confirmed. They feel that if they didn't force their child to get Confirmed, they would have never returned to the Church.

 

The women might not be that far off the mark. They mistakenly think that the Sacrament works even if the person doesn't want it. However, once the person does want it, the grace that was previously blocked can begin to flow.

 

I am still of the opinion that Confirmation should be later, when the young adult can appreciate it more. I have heard, however, great arguments the other way. I just think it's a mess and a half to have these poorly catechized teenagers with hormones raging and the attention span of gnats go through a Sacrament that leaves a permanent mark on the soul. (I love my teens, but, holy cow, they can be difficult.)

 

Maybe an all around change in parish culture like that proposed in Forming Intentional Disciples could make the whole process go smoother and the teens would get more out of it. They would get better catechesis from the beginning. They would from day one be encouraged to have a more personal relationship with Jesus. Then the hormones and the attention span wouldn't be nearly the problem they are now and the grace can simply flow.  

Lawn Chair Catechism #4: And you get a charism, and you get a charism...

 

As near impossible as it is to switch gears after my post earlier this morning, I will try to share my thoughts on the third chapter of Sherry Weddell's book Forming Intentional Disciples. To read other reflections, go to CatholicMom.com. It is never too late to join the discussion. Buy the book and tell us what you think today!

 

 

Today, I'm going to throw the script away. With all due respect to the hard working people at CatholicMom.com, I will not be answering the reflection questions they worked so hard on. I want to talk about charisms. While I have never been through the Called & Gifted program, the Lay Formation program at my grad school borrowed aspects of it. I've taken a couple gift inventories and was assigned to read several books.  

 

 A cool picture yanked from the Nashville Dominicans website. It's cleansing to the palate after the morning I've had. And, by the way, I know one. 

 

 

As I was doing the inventories, I felt like a teenager again. You know, those stupid quizzes in the magazines. "Are you and your friend drifting?" "What jeans are best for you?" "Are you too busy for school?" "What TV boyfriend is right for you?" After you answer a whole bunch of questions, you tally the answers, do a little math and voilà! You now know the deepest secrets of your own heart!

 

At the time, the tests annoyed me. Again, I'm paying for a Master's degree, not to sit around taking personality quizzes or poke at my emotional scars.

 

I observed one important thing that semester, however: When someone recognizes your gift, you are more apt to use it. Being my last year before marriage, I went nuts trying to get published. I saw it as my last chance to really do something before my life was no longer my own. When I took the inventory, "writing" was listed as my third highest charism, behind wisdom and service. This pushed me even more to send manuscripts out. I didn't get published that year. All of the manuscripts were rejected. 

 

 

Seeing my charisms on paper, however, made them real to me. I can see how a workshop like Called & Gifted can change someone's life.

 

It's kind of like journaling or talk therapy. It's one thing to think things in your head. It's a completely other thing to see it written out or said aloud. If I remember correctly, my top 5 were:

• Service
• Wisdom
• Writing
• Mercy
• Missionary

There aren't any surprises there for me. I'm happiest when I'm helping people. I love to write. People have sought me out my entire life for advice on things. While I'll likely never travel to a far-away land, I communicate well with people of different backgrounds and socio-economic groups.

 

So, the moral of the story is: We need to recognize our gifts and the gifts of others. If they aren't recognized, they'll go unused. I know this from experience!



 

By the way, imagine Oprah reading the title of this post and it will make a lot more sense.

 

Lawn Chair Catechism #3: What is 'normal'?

We just completed Chapter Two of Sherry Wendell's book, Forming Intentional Disciples. In this chapter, we discover that Catholics don't think that a personal relationship with God is possible. They do not feel that it's appropriate to talk about their relationship with others. They think that intense conversions and being on fire for the faith is a "Protestant thing" not Catholic.

This is a chapter that I have trouble speaking to as a convert. When looking at the Catholic mentality, I'm still kind of an outsider.

I am of two minds when it comes to talking about my personal relationship with Christ. On one hand, being a theology student, a level of comfort was beat into me. I was told, over and over again, that as a lay minister, I need to be comfortable talking about my relationship. I need to be able to put my relationship into words.

On the other hand, I always hated that aspect of my classes. I don't like talking about feelings. I'll listen to someone else talk about theirs, but I hate talking about mine. I resented my classes that concentrated on this topic. I wanted to go to class to learn neat facts about the Bible, not to sit around poking at my emotional scars. It seemed like a waste of time to me, more harmful than helpful. I paid thousands of dollars to get a Masters in Pastoral Studies, not to receive counseling.

Source

I think I am "normal" using the criteria, minus the community part. Except for the Lay Dominicans, I don't have a group that I talk about faith regularly with. To refer back to my last post, I haven't had a group like that since college. I wish we had that kind of family feeling in our parish, but I'm not going to continue to beat that dead horse.

As a convert with an intense conversion experience, I don't think that a personal relationship is only for the pious few. We can all have a relationship with God. We all should have a relationship with God. An essential part of our Christian vocation is to have a relationship with God.

Join the conversation at Catholicmom.com.

Lawn Chair Catechism #2: Catholic Retention Rates

I'm a convert to Catholicism. I was one of 73,405 adult baptisms in 2005. I was raised believing in God, but never going to church. I had some bad experiences with a "Southern Baptist" when I was in middle school. After those experiences, I wanted nothing to do with the Christian God. I've been Buddhist and Wiccan. I converted to Catholicism my freshman year in college directly from Wicca.

I was always deeply interested in religion. I remember meditating in the backyard when I was still in elementary school, trying to become one with everything. I always knew there was a God, I never questioned that. I knew there was a God and He (or She) loved me and cared about me. I would characterize my entire religious journey as looking for that God.

I was initially introduced to the Christian God as a hateful and vengeful God. My maternal grandfather was convinced that anyone who was not a heterosexual, white person who went to his particular church in southwestern MO was going to hell. I sent him a letter when I converted to Catholicism. He's probably still praying for my soul.

When I went to college, I was really alone for the first time in my life. I knew no one. I was three hours away from my family. I had the opportunity to redefine myself. I decided to flirt with Christianity just to prove that what my grandfather did to me no longer had any power over me. I wore a cross just to see how it felt. I read the Bible. I visited several nearby churches.

My Conversion Story

I went to the Catholic Newman Center because I had to do a paper on a religion I had no prior exposure to. I was surrounded by Catholics in my dorm building. All of the new friends I was making were Catholic or ex-Catholic. When I went to my first Mass, I had a pretty intense conversion experience. I felt completely at home there even though I didn't understand what was going on.

I was angry with God for calling me into the Catholic Church. What was a free-spirit like me doing joining the Catholic Church? I went on a walk with one of my ex-Catholic friends. He listed all of the things that was wrong in the Church and all of the issues that he disagreed with. I most remember his arguments about the Church being against abortion and the death penalty. He supported both.

That made me stop in my steps. What do you mean the Catholic Church is against abortion and the death penalty? My whole life, all of my family and friends were either for one or the other or both. I was the only weirdo who was against both! And now I find out that this 2000-year-old organization agreed with me and no one had ever bothered to tell me!!!!

That is what started my conversion. I was in RCIA for about a year and a half because I was a non-Christian convert. I would have been in RCIA longer, but I got close to an old man in the parish and they wanted me to get baptized while he was still alive to see it.

 

Not my baptism because none of my pics exist in digital form

 

I was baptized by full-immersion in an old, converted horse trough at the Catholic Newman Center. It was a lot like the gentleman in the picture above, except mine was by a Catholic priest, of course. I was baptized as part of a Sunday Mass. Third Sunday of Advent to be precise, which that year fell on December 12th, the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Why Do People Leave?

I cannot comment on my parish's retention rate since I have only been here for two years. I can, however, speak to my experience with former Catholics. Many of my friends are no longer active in the Church, although they used to be very active in our Newman Center.

 

While they all left for different reasons, there is one over-arching theme: We all got used to having a close church family in college. Our Newman Center was like our home away from home. Some of us even called the director "Mom." We did everything together. Many of us practically lived at the Center. Several of us even got our mail there.

 

Then we came out into the real world. I am yet to find a parish that is truly a family like our Newman Center was a family. True, we're all busy with our jobs and our biological families, but it would be nice to have a community again.

 

Many of my friends have left the Church because they don't feel at home here anymore. I can understand them completely. Before I was married, I did a lot of parish hopping in hopes of finding a close community again. 

 

Do you have any ideas about how to build community? I think that building a community would go a long ways toward getting our 20 and 30-somethings back. 

 

 



To read more reflections on Chapter One, head to Catholicmom.com. We're reading Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell. It's a good book and it's never too late to join us!

Lawn Chair Catechism: A Personal Relationship With Jesus

 

Every Wednesday this Summer, Catholics are invited to participate in CatholicMom.com's first Lawn Chair Catechism. We are reading Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry A Weddell.

This is my addition to the discussion of the Introduction of the book.

 "How would you describe your lived relationship with God to this point in your life?"

Why is this question so difficult for me? I'm a convert to Catholicism after years and years of exploring different religions. I've been Catholic for 7 1/2 years. I graduated with my MA in Pastoral Studies last December, but my professional vocation seems to change every other week. Right now, I'm more or less on auto-pilot, just trying to get through the days caring for my son, working for my ministries and writing.

When I talk to God, it's usually in the heat of the moment when I have an immediate need. I understand completely that those in ministry are assumed to have a closer relationship. Ministry is a vocation, a calling, not a job. I'm not suffering from burn-out because there isn't much for me to get burned-out on. I think a good part of it is the fact that I'm living so far from all of my family and friends. I think I'm mostly angry at God because of that.

No discussion of my current relationship would be complete without talking about the Lay Dominicans. As someone who is considering becoming one, I pray Morning and Evening prayers and I try to go to Mass daily. In some ways it has been a lifeline for me. It forces me to keep the lines of communication open between God and I. I don't think I'd have a relationship with God at all right now if it wasn't for the Dominicans.

"What does the word “discipleship” mean to you?  Do you perceive a need in the Church today to help lay Catholics become more fervent followers of Jesus Christ?"

Mainly, "discipleship" means to imitate. Like the old bracelets say, "WWJD?" We're supposed to ask ourselves, "what would Jesus do" and act like Him.

In the Church today, we are plagued with "Christmas and Easter Catholics" and "Cafeteria Catholics" and people who go to church on Sundays simply because "that is what you're supposed to do." I admit, even I sometimes guilt myself into going to church because "I'm supposed to be a role model" and "it'll look bad to potential employers if I skip." There is definitely a need in the Church for people to better understand and appreciate Sundays, much less following Jesus the rest of the week!

"How would you describe your parish’s current efforts at discipleship?  A hotbed of discipleship?  A weekly gathering of spiritual sleep-walkers?  Or perhaps something in between?"

I would say my parish is somewhere in between because it really depends on who you're talking about. Some parishioners are on fire. On the other hand, there are some parishioners that we're lucky to see on Sunday. There are lots and lots of people who we see on Sundays but we never see them anywhere else. People in my parish do make a constant effort to get more people involved, and often it falls on deaf ears. But these people brush themselves off and try again and again. You've got to admire them for it and we are always looking for new ideas. My parish is a very old and small one, but we shouldn't (and we typically don't) use that as an excuse!

Read more reflections at Catholicmom.com