I skipped last week because my reflection was long and it rambled. I didn't like writing it and I didn't want to force anybody to read it. Hopefully it won't be so bad this time.
|Knock on wood|
I walk into a Catholic Church because I had to do a paper on a religion I was unfamiliar with and I had a crush on a Catholic.
And it hits me. I feel at home although I have no idea what is going on. I feel like God/Goddess/Whomever wants me to join this Church. All I had ever heard of about this Church is that it's all about conformity. I've never conformed to anything in my life.
I was angry. I went to the sunken garden. I screamed at God and I cried. I could not understand what was going on or why.
|Sunken Garden at Truman State University. Picture not taken by me, I'm not that good.|
I still asked my RCIA teacher when we first met: "Is it okay that I still believe in reincarnation?"
So, openness to Catholicism was a huge problem for me.
Ironically, one of the first retreats I went on had the theme "Surrender." On that retreat, someone told me that I was a model of "surrender" to them. They admired me for leaving behind everything and joining the Catholic Church. This retreat happened only 5 months after my first Mass.
So, how did I do it? I don't know. I just did. People tell me from time to time that I'm a brave person. I really don't see that in myself. I just do what I need to do.
Pray for me and I'll pray for you.