Are you Ascending?

I found this ridiculous website while searching images of the Ascension. Now, it's really, really sad that people publish stuff like this online. In this particular page, some New Age fan who apparently thinks the world is going to end in December of this year lists what he/she calls "Ascension symptoms." These are supposedly symptoms that a person is changing to a higher realm, that they are changing in tune with the accelerating change in the universe. Thankfully, they do have a small disclaimer that these could be symptoms of an illness. And they do have a cool illustration:

This is probably the reason why it came up in the image search, although I don't think Jesus' ascension was quite like this.

Here are the symptoms. In red is what these symptoms actually are (sorry to burst your bubble).

*Feeling as though you are in a pressure cooker or in intense energy; feeling stress. That's just it: stress!

* A feeling of disorientation; not knowing where you are; a loss of a sense of place. Can be normal. But if it happens intensely or for a long period, call a doctor.

* Unusual aches and pains throughout different parts of your body. Possibly depression, see a doctor.

* Waking at night between 2 and 4 a.m. This is actually really normal.

* Memory loss. You could be taking a drug (legal or illegal) that could be messing with your memory. Drugs as common as anti-histamines can mess with our ability to remember. Have you been toking?

* "Seeing" and "hearing" things. You really need to see a doctor.

* Loss of identity. Dissociative fugue can be caused by trauma or drugs. Also, it is common in life to lose our sense of self when changes occur or we are disappointed.

* Feeling "out of body". Can also be caused by trauma or drugs. Other possible causes include dehydration and sensory overload or deprivation. It is a common occurrence when suddenly waking up from a deep sleep. It can also occur during meditation.

* Periods of deep sleeping. Depression.

* Heightened sensitivities to your surroundings. If you are a woman, you might be pregnant.

* Dizziness, loss of balance, back and neck pain, ringing in the ears, "gritty" eyes, blurred vision, insomnia, and heart palpitations with difficulty breathing. You really, really need to see a doctor.

*Headaches. Depression as well as many other potential causes.

* Crying about anything, whether wonderful or sad. This means you are a deeply spiritual person who truly appreciates life. Congratulations!

* Not remembering the meaning of anything. Depression.

* Difficulty in remembering what you did or who you talked to a day or sometimes just an hour before. Didn't you already cover this.

* You don't feel like doing anything. Depression.

* An intolerance for lower vibrational things (of the 3D) reflected in conversations, attitudes, societal structures, healing modalities, etc. Good for you. Maybe you can help change the bad things you see in the world.

* A loss of desire for food. Depression.

* A sudden disappearance of friends, activities, habits, jobs and residences. This happens a lot to people who are mentally and/or physically ill because some people are just intolerant of the ill. You need to see a doctor.

* You absolutely cannot do certain things anymore. Depression.

* Days of extreme fatigue. Didn't you already list this.

* A need to eat often along with what feels like attacks of low blood sugar. Diabetes.

* Experiencing emotional ups and downs; weeping. Didn't you already list this.

* A wanting to go Home, as if everything is OVER and you don't belong here anymore. The desire to go "home" is normal. You might have some mild depression, but everyone wants to go "home."

* Feeling you are going insane, or must be developing a mental illness of some sort. See a doctor to check because it's "better to be safe than sorry," but as they say, "only the sane question their sanity"

* Anxiety and panic and feelings of hysteria. Anxiety or panic disorder.

* Depression. A lot of these symptoms sound like depression.

* Vivid, wild and sometimes violent dreams. Pregnancy or stress. 

* Night sweats and hot flashes. Hormonal changes, stress, spicy food, smoking. After eliminating all those possibilities, see a doctor because you might have a problem with your hypothalamus.

* Your plans suddenly change in mid-stream and go in a completely different direction. Depression and anxiety can cause this. Also, trauma or drugs. It can also be completely normal. Talk to somebody about it.

* You have created a situation that seems like your worst nightmare, with many “worst nightmare” aspects to it. Get help.

Sorry to burst your bubble. I've been there. I used to do it all, from tarot cards to the Ouji board. I know what it's like to search for answers to the ultimate questions. And there is a lot of truth and value to New Age philosophies. I found my Truth in Roman Catholicism, you may find your Truth somewhere else. But don't let your Truth stand between you and professional help.